A Mommy Blog Post...

I know this has nothing to do with this beauty blog per say and more of my Mommy side of the blog, but I just had to write because I have something that I need to get off my chest. The birth of my second daughter, Kaya, was the most beautiful experience and this time I allowed my sister to take video of it. It took me a while to bring myself to watch it, but I skimmed through it once a few months after the actual birth. Now my daughter is almost 1 and I was preparing myself to watch it for her first birthday to celebrate her arrival into my life....

Unfortunately, the external drive that we kept that video on happened to also be the one that we use to watch movies and other things on it, which requires us to move it around quite often (something you should never do to an external hard drive! They are very delicate and should stay in one place). That external bit the dust and we could no longer get any information off of it. My husband (without my knowledge) sent it into the manufacture because they said they would send us a new one, but they destroy the old one!! I wasn't prepared for that and I would have never Ok'd that. I don't care if it would have cost a thousand dollars to retrieve or to even TRY to retrieve, I would have done it.

I don't have much video of KoKo (my first daughter) being born, so it was important for me to have this because it was such a beautiful experience that I wanted to have forever and for Kaya to have when she is grown. I am totally grieving the loss of this video and am having a real hard time doing so. I have many pics from that day, but while my sister was taking video, she wasn't taking pics, so I don't have many pics of the actual labor part. SO SAD.

I need help accepting this and moving on from it. I just don't know how.

Many Tears,
Amanda

9/22/10